I personally want to live in a world where I believe things are "magical" I mean honestly where is the fun with out magical?!? Everyone who is true to themselves wants everything to be magical ESPECIALLY relationships. We think Prince Charming or Cinderella will show up one day wisk us away with their charm and knock us to our knees with their undying unfailing never ending love and of course they would rather die themselves before they hurt us! However Magic is just make believe, and we're mechanical and thats just how it is, and Well... Im not sure how mechanics work!!!
These are a few thing I do know. I know black and white. Happy and Sad, Love and hate.. I know drama. I do NOT know how to turn the other cheek, and Im trying to learn to be balanced.
Do you remember those times in life that you were SURE with all of your being that they were magical and your enthusiasm and joy for life was at it's peak...its pinnacle if you will? Things burned brighter than the sun in your life then. Your heart sang with gladness, nothing on earth could keep your feet on the ground!! When you sang songs its like they were were written JUST for you. We've all had those times. Why don't THEY last?
I hear its all perspective. Change your mind change your life. Well what idiot said that?!? Of course its a mental snapshot of your life at the time. But my question for YOU Universe is.. what the crap have you done to my perspective?? OR does my mental camera need to be fine tuned? Was there ever any magic or..is my life mechanical and im not mechanically inclined enough to figure this out?? Am I not taking enough risks anymore? Have I become complacent, boring and predictable? Have I risked my soul singing by staying in one spot too long? I used to be the girl who used to laugh the loudest. Now the quiet kills me because is SCREAMS the truth. I like you want to feel with every fiber of my being. Life is short and I don't have time to be stuck!
I suppose our lives are like revolving doors, well thats how I imagine them anyway. I feel like I just keep walking around and around. Too scared to make a decision, or is it the guilt we let other people in our lives have over us?? Ultimate Happiness is on one side of the revolving door and on the other is all the other people and their crap that awaits us! Somehow I "magically" end up picking the wrong door...or are their mechanical steps I have neglected? So in the past when I've gotten spued on the floor through the wrong door I dust off my jeans look up, stand up and think well hell...wrong door AGAIN!
I guess it could be our "perspective" while making that never ending circle around. BUT WAIT, I ask you what if there is such thing as ultimate happiness? Or are we only just allowed glimpses of it? Are those glimpses a window into enlightenment? I guess the same works for ultimate sadness, betrayel, lost, hurt, and depression. We all know they exist so the major question is...how to make one outshine the other? I say to heck with perspective and lets get radical...because radical seems adventurous! And maybe thats how you get it back?
Let me say this, I have always hated revolving doors!! Don't ask me why.. they just freak me out! I avoid them at ALL costs. Maybe because I feel like Im trapped in there...and its why using it as an example for life seems so fitting. Don't mishear me I don't hate my life, on the contrary I love my life, but just because you love your life doesn't mean that major changes don't need to happen. As I circle around Im looking for the right door the right exit all the RIGHT things. But I'm starting to believe my right and your right aren't the same rights. Sometimes... you have to push those doors hard when they're full of people and their CRAP!! And then when the time comes to make the scary decision..you just gotta be brave JUMP out!!
“If you dont know learn how to be scared, you'll never really learn how to be brave.”
― Simon Holt, The Devouring
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